it's aliiiiiiiiiive!!!

The coolest, most exciting thing that's ever happened in this pregnancy... He moves!!!
The baby moves!!!

I think I'm one of those people who pays a little too much attention to my body, especially when something is not "normal" for me. For example, being pregnant. All these things are happening to my body that at first I think some people would not even notice that it's happening to them. Every little tiny thing that I've felt change... I've felt. I think I've even gotten a little obsessive on certain things. I'm not talking body image and self esteem things here (although that has been affected, but that's another topic for another day) I'm talking a weird movement, or a weird pain or something doesn't feel "normal" when I do certain things... I'm obsessive. I'm going to give myself some credit though because I think in general it's a good thing. I'll know right away if something is different or wrong and when it happened and how it felt... it could be beneficial to detecting problems sooner rather then later.

Now the whole point of this...
I think I was about 17 or maybe 18 weeks when I first felt the signs that there really was a baby inside me. Without going to the doctor to see him through and ultrasound or hear his heartbeat. I felt this really weird almost fluttery feeling inside my belly on the right front side. It's weird to describe it this way, but it was almost this burning type sensation, like it almost hurt.... maybe similar to if you hit your elbow wrong and there was a nerve pain... I didnt' really know for sure how to describe it, but it was WEIRD! I sort of left it alone, but then it happened AGAIN! over and over it kept happening every few minutes this one evening. I talked to my mom and my aunt Theresa about it and they both said that it had to be the baby, the first signs of him moving around in there. Well after talking more I just got more and more excited, then I wanted it to happen all the time, I wanted so bad to feel my baby again. It gave me this reassuring feeling. Well, unfortunately I hardly ever felt it again. I could be remembering it a little wrong, but to my recollection I may have felt it happen a couple more times, but that was it! Since then I've been obsessing about actually feeling our baby "kick" for real!

It's happening!! It actually started a couple weeks ago (I'm a few days shy of 23 weeks right now) surprisingly I can't remember exactly when it happened but I suddenly, out of no where, after not even feeling the fluttering very often, felt something more. It HAD to be him "kicking" there's no way it could have been anything else! It was more then a flutter but still not enough to actually feel it if you put your hand on my tummy... but it was him, he was moving and I could actually feel it! I was so excited! I was just waiting and waiting for it to happen again. I would never really notice it happening until I would lay down to go to sleep. I think this was mostly because there were no other distractions around me so it was easier to focus on the movements. The other weird thing is I would ONLY feel the fluttering on my right side and i would ONLY feel the little "kicks" on my left side. Weird!

Part of the reason I was obsessing about him moving was because of Troy. He deploys in about a week, and all I have wanted for him before he leaves is to be able to put his hand on my belly and feel his baby kicking. This was something that we had talked about a long time ago, and since we've never had a baby, we were not sure exactly when we would be able to share this amazing experience. We were both worried that he'd be gone before it'd happen, and it'd be yet another thing he'd have to miss. It made me feel so sad, and  I prayed and prayed for him to be able to have this one thing before he leaves... sure enough, if you ask, you shall receive! It feels like in the matter of a day or two little Eli started giving me real "kicks" that I could actually feel when i put my hand on my belly. The problem was that I would only feel him once or twice, then nothing for hours and hours, or maybe the rest of the day. I would put Troy's hand on my belly when i felt something and unfortunately Eli wouldn't do it again, so Troy wouldn't get to feel anything :-( this made me so sad! But i wasn't going to give up!

One night we had just gotten into bed for the night. Like always I started to feel him moving around in my tummy. So like always i put Troy's hand where I felt it last and then Eli did it again, and again... over and over he kept "kicking" and moving around. More times in a row then I've ever felt him before and Troy got to feel it too!!! This was one of the BEST moments, by far, that I've experienced in this whole thing. It was so wonderful and made us both so happy! It made this whole baby thing real :-) Since that day I've felt him move during the day and tons of times in a row. Just yesterday  he was moving around like crazy most of the afternoon. Even this morning I felt him first thing when I woke up. I'm so happy and so thankful that God's blessed us with this little baby boy and that He's blessed us with this wonderful experience that Troy and I get to share together even though Troy will be gone for the rest of the pregnancy. I'm so thankful that we had this moment that I was so sure we wouldn't get to have... I could just cry I'm so happy :-)